oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize