I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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