i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
