The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize