I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
