Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
