is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize