Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
