one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
