I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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