i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
