i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize