Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
