i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
