I need to stop coming to work sober
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
