I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
