I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize