Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
