So drunk its hurt
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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