In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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