she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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