So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
