Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
