"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
