Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
there's paper in my vomit.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
