I puked a lego.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
