i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
