We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
