oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
