dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
