Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
