you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
