hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I am available for nakedness
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
