porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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