I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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