puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
