Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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