grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
