We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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