office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
