Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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