I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
No subtext here. People are naked.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize