Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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