One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
