Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize