i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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