There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
