you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
honey bunches of taint.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize