You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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