Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
