is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We got so high we made milksteak
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
