shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
