The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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