I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize