Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
