I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
