so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
