So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
