I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
