I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
